You don't have to be mad to work here...

Because sometimes, sometimes, applying for jobs can be fun. Particularly, if by ‘can be fun’, what you actually mean is ‘how far can I push it before they think I’m just taking the piss?'...

I sent this application letter today. I’ve, of course, obscured the relevant details, so as not to utterly scupper my chances.

Dear *****,

My name is Charlie Farlie and I am writing to you to apply for the position of *** ******* ********* as advertised on ***********.

As per the requirements of application, my three favourite websites are, as follows:

In third place: Facebook
Or more specifically, classic Facebook. Before it became saturated with applications and invitations to become a werewolf, classic Facebook represented the social networking revolution at work and, to a newly started university student, as I was, the key to social nirvana. Never before had organising, documenting and autopsying those hazy uni nights out been so easy, accessible and user friendly. Predictably, with fancy dress being the sartorial choice du jour, and Snakebite being the drink in vogue, the ‘detag’ button became a quick and firm friend...

In second place: Youtube
I’m an English graduate, and as such, have studied many of literatures ‘finest comedies’. It is a truth universally acknowledged, however, that people falling over is far funnier than anything Will Shakespeare had to offer. Youtube is my procrastinating best friend, and I am perhaps not as ashamed as I ought to be to admit that many an hour has been wiled away crying tears of mirth at the Grape Lady. If the Grape Lady reference means nothing to you, I suggest you check her out immediately. Wear headphones, and bring tissues.

In first place: Wikipedia
It was Disney’s Pocahontas who encouraged us to learn things we never knew we never knew but it was Wikipedia that put the idea into motion. As a student, Wiki’ing was always there for me when Starbucks had taken precedent over ‘obtaining and reading the set texts’, and now, as a grad, it’s there for ‘see I told you so’ and ‘holy moly I am BORED’. Wikipedia is very close to my heart, even if it does frequently remind me that I couldn’t finish Lord of the Rings, but will happily waste an hour reading about Conspiracy Theories. Nerdy, no?

So, *****, these are my three favourite websites. I like to think they suggest a thirst for knowledge and a delight in society, as opposed to a thirst for procrastination and inadvertent photo-stalking of strangers...

The more professional stuff, as one might expect, is contained duly in my CV, which you will find attached.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Kind regards,

Charlie Farlie

I’d give me a job. But then again, I think being glib and flippant is amusing.